Do At Least One Thing...

Your morning starts with the usual goals for the day: Get project 'A' started, move project 'B' one step down the road, call Fred about the problem that came up yesterday, and so on.  All of these are important goals; important in the sense that they directly relate to your job, and the work that you are doing.  All of these goals are essential to your success in your present position.

However, the thought may pass through your head every now and then that none of these goals relate to who you want to become, how you want to grow, where your life needs to change, or how you are preparing yourself for the future.

If you are one of the lucky people who find themselves being and doing exactly what is right for you, you can probably skip the rest of this blog post.

But, if you are like most people, you have room to grow, ways to improve, and much to accomplish before you reach nirvana.

For the majority of us there are a couple of things that, if done effectively, can create a turning point in our career, and our personal life.  These things are:

• Learning about yourself, who you are, who you want to be, and what is necessary to move yourself to your desired future.  (Kevin Cashman's book Leadership From the Inside Out is a great friend and resource while you make that journey.)
• Every day do at least one thing that moves you toward becoming/being who you want to be.

Simple concepts?  Yes, maybe too simple for some.  But, the execution of these steps takes some work and dedication.

The good news is that this dedication to improving, and investing in yourself pays huge dividends for the rest of your life.

You might say "That's a great idea.  I'll start tomorrow."  And, to that I would say "You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays." (From The Music Man, by Meredith Wilson)

Start today.  Put on your daily planner (along with Project A and Project B) to do one thing every day that moves you toward being who you want to be.  Take the first step.

The first step for many will be to begin to get clear on exactly who you want to be, and what you want to do with the rest of your life.  Some of you will be able to work this out for yourselves by devoting a little quality time to thinking over the question, either alone or with family or friends.  Others may want to consider getting a little help from a coach or mentor who can ask some meaningful questions.  Either way, get started! (See the footnote above regarding Leadership From the Inside Out)

Then, every day take one action, devote time to one thought, have one conversation, introduce yourself to one person who can help, read one article, tell one other person what you are doing, or focus a few minutes on your future. 

Your journey of a thousand miles begins with that first step.


Before you realize what has happened, you will find that your feet are on a slightly different path; one that leads to a better destination. 

Good luck on your journey.


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For those who might be interested in a little reading on this subject, you might find David Whyte's book Crossing the Unknown Sea: Work as a Pilgrimage of Identity very interesting.  Whyte describes his journey from his job as a marine biologist to his dream of becoming a poet in a way that will give heart to all who have a passion for making both life and work meaningful.

Motivation, Rewards, and Leadership

The good news is that the world really is all about you.  

Therefore, the world is what you make it. 

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Here are a few thoughts-for-the-day with which you may, or may not, agree.  Regardless of how you feel, I hope you find a moment to stop and think about your beliefs and the basis upon which those beliefs have been built.

1.  Employees do not need to be motivated - In organizational life managers are often charged with the productivity and well being of the staff.  It is management's job to make sure the staff is focusing on the task at hand, and that everyone is sufficiently motivated.

But, is it really management's job to motivate you?  Is the manager the one responsible for each person's motivation?

If we assume that it is management's job to motivate us, we assume that we are not inherently motivated.  The cause of motivation is outside of us - a gift to be received from someone else.  If we don't receive the gift every day, we will not feel motivated.  This belief places the responsibility for the level of motivation squarely on management's shoulders, giving us someone to blame when motivation falls below required levels.

I suggest that this model is flawed.

Yes, management has a role to play in creating an environment that does not squash motivation like an unwelcome bug.  "It is right and human for managers to care about the motivation and morale of their people, it's just that they are not the cause of it." (Koestenbaum and Block - Freedom and Accountability At Work)

We are also responsible for our own morale.  If we come to work depressed, it is not only management's responsibility to pull us out of our depression.  If we feel unmotivated by our work, it is not only management's job to detect our lack of motivation and give us a rousing pep talk.  We are all responsible for our own morale and motivation.

We have freedom; we have a choice.

(See: Motivation, Vision and Motivation in this blog)

2.  Rewards do not explain and drive behavior -  The holy grail of compensation has long been "What gets rewarded gets done."  If you want something done, put a reward on the result.  If you want to encourage a certain behavior, put a reward on it.  The reverse has also been true - if you want to discourage a behavior or result, take away a reward (usually money) every time it happens.

Yes, compensation systems are important.  Yes, compensation systems are often designed based on a desire to encourage certain behaviors.  No, compensation systems are not successful in creating long-term motivation, and achieving desired results.  Short-term results, maybe.  But, long-term results, no.

By focusing on money, organizations have found a simple and quick way to push individual performance to great heights for short periods of time.  However, it is often easy for self-serving employees to take advantage of these money-based incentives, increasing their compensation at the expense of the organization's long term health.

For the long-term it's not what gets rewarded that gets done.  It's what is rewarding gets done. (Katzenbach - Why Pride Matters More Than Money)

As an alternative, treat employees as you would anyone who is actively contributing to the wealth of the organization.  They are the ones who are creating the products and services that make the organization successful.  Compensation is important, but not because it will change behavior.

(See: Money and Motivation in this blog)

3. Leadership is abundant, not rare - Many organizations are leader-focused.  The person at the top of the hierarchy is the fearless leader, and those in the rest of the organization are the followers.  Leadership is reserved for those with titles and offices, for those who attend the board or leadership team meetings.  Employees are trained to do their jobs, or put through employee development programs to help them become better employees, supervisors, and managers, but they are not considered leaders.

Yes, it is very important for the top leaders to offer a clear vision, set the tone for the corporate ethics and values, keep the organizational culture connected to the realities of the market, and to display the courage to take action.  This is a seat of great power that comes with great responsibilities.  It is important that these top leaders use their power with care and grace, for they are creating a tone that will color the behavior of others.

But these leadership behaviors are not reserved to only the nose-bleed seats.

Organizations will find that, given the opportunity to take on the challenge, leaders exist at all levels.  What is required is for managers and supervisors to create the space for others to take action.  

No, not everyone wants to be a leader.  

But, people rise to a challenge.  If you want to encourage leaders at all levels, you need to start by making room in your organization for people of good character to understand the vision and share it with others, express their ethics and values, touch the realities that define their market, and both see the courage of the leaders at the top, and show their own courage by making choices and taking risks.  

(See: A Leader's Power, Ownership, 100% Responsibility, Changing Minds - The Importance Of Character in this blog)

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Thanks for taking the time to read through this blog entry.  Hope it sparked some thoughts or feelings about leadership. 

If you are interested in more thought provoking reading, the preceding is largely based on the work of Peter Koestenbaum and Peter Block in Freedom and Accountability At Work.

My thanks go to Dr. Koestenbaum for his long dedication to improving both government and business organizations.

Have A Nice Conflict

You are running a little late, and show up to the early morning project team meeting a few minutes after it started.  But already things have taken their usual course.  Tom is raising his voice and pressing for action on his latest proposal, Helen is telling Tom that he doesn't have enough information to move forward - more data is required.  Joe is leaning back in his chair looking uncomfortable, wishing the problem would just go away.  All three faces turn to you, the team leader, as you walk into the room.  Once again, your team is in conflict, and the day is just beginning.  Everything is normal.

Conflict is part of our daily lives.  Families experience conflict. Business and government organizations live in a sea of conflict.  International relations are fraught with conflict.  The news is filled with conflict.

The question that comes to mind is: if conflict is so prevalent in our lives, why aren't we better at dealing with it?  Perhaps one answer is that we are never given the proper tools.  As we grow up we learn how to get along, or how to take control of a situation.  We learn how to press our point, or to compete.  But, we may never be taught how to:

• Anticipate conflict
• Prevent conflict
• Identify conflict
• Manage conflict
• Resolve conflict

The time has come to change all of that.  Being a better leader or manager, or just being a better person, starts with self awareness and self management.  These competencies are rooted in self knowledge - knowing yourself, what motivates you, what you value, and how you translate those motivations and values into behaviors.  As you extend your knowledge beyond yourself, you gain an understanding of others, and how their motivations and values drive their behaviors.  You also begin to gain an understanding of what causes conflict.  (See the footnote below for information on tools to help you gain deeper self and social awareness)

 [C]onflict [is] the feeling that occurs when another person or set of circumstances becomes an obstacle that inhibits one's ability to live out their motivational values.  (Have a Nice Conflict, p 95)  People go into conflict about things that are important to them - values that are tied to their sense of self-worth.  (Have a Nice Conflict, p. 130) 

If you want to deal with conflict, your challenge is to learn how to identify motivations and values in yourself and others, and how to communicate with the people involved in a conflict.  Then, the key is to use that knowledge to build a path back to self-worth for all parties. Luckily, you are not alone.  Help is on the way.

Tim Scudder, Michael Patterson, and Kent Mitchell have recently published a book titled Have a Nice Conflict that will, in a few hours, give you valuable insights into how to translate your self and social awareness into actions, behaviors, and language that will help you anticipate, prevent, identify, manage, and resolve conflict.  Their book is based on work done by Elias H. Porter, as well as decades of study, and experience using the Strengths Deployment Inventory, or SDI.

One of the things that Scudder, Patterson and Mitchell points out is that behavior in conflict follows patterns.  Although it is true that human beings are not 100% predictable, it is interesting to note that certain discernible patterns of behavior do exist.  Knowing that patterns exist, and having some tools to help you identify the patterns when you see them, gives you a huge head start on managing conflicts.

The authors have created a fable, or parable, that lets you follow the journey of "John" as he learns about these patterns of behavior within himself and those around him, both when things are going well, and when things go into conflict. 

As Have A Nice Conflict points out, one of the biggest challenges is to learn how to manage a conflict when you are already firmly entrenched in it. If we enter into conflict at a purely reactionary level, if we just follow our emotions, we tend to let the conflict manage us rather than managing the conflict.  But by managing ourselves, and learning how to communicate with each of the individuals involved in the conflict, we can be more effective when we find ourselves in the fray.  Also, conflicts become shorter, and are often avoided.

A well-chosen behavior on your part can prevent conflict with another person. But you need to prevent conflict in yourself... too.  (Have a Nice Conflict, p. 142)  Managing conflict is about creating the conditions that empower others to manage themselves out of their emotional state of conflict.  It's also about managing yourself out.  (Have a Nice Conflict, p. 162)

We all need to follow the advice of every airline flight attendant: place your own oxygen mask on first, then help the person next to you with theirs.  You need to gain control of yourself before you can be any help to the other parties to a conflict.  (See the earlier blog post The View From The Balcony)

Preventing conflict within yourself, and creating conditions that allow others to manage themselves requires conscious thought.  Conscious thought is much easier when you know what to listen for, what to look for, and how to respond to people who hold differing motivational values.

Have a Nice Conflict gives you some interesting insight into language and behaviors that you can use when you find yourself in a conflict with another person.  And, it shows you how to modify your language to fit the person, or people, in the conflict.

The first and best thing you can do is to dedicate some time to learning about yourself.  The footnote below gives links to some very valuable tools for gaining an understanding of what it means to be you.  Every tool has its supporters and critics.  There is no "single best tool".

Take a look at Have a Nice Conflict.  I think it will be well worth your time.  You will come away with some interesting insights into the people you live and work with.  You may also learn a thing or two about yourself in the process.

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Footnote:   

There are many tools that help you learn about yourself: Myers Briggs, Thomas Kllman, DiSC for example.  But the best tool I have found to increase both your self awareness, and your social awareness is the Strengths Deployment Inventory, or SDI.  The SDI is the one instrument that I have found that takes on the question of how to deal effectively with conflict.

I have a personal bias toward the SDI instrument, and have used it successfully both as a tool for gaining self-knowledge, and for creating a team environment of mutual understanding, better working relationships, and reducing conflicts.  Have a Nice Conflict and the SID go hand in hand with developing your self and social awareness.  The SDI will give you insight into why you and others behave in certain ways.  It creates a bond between team members, and establishes a common language about behavior that can be used within the team when things get a little tense.

The DiSC Instrument is also a great team-based tool for looking at styles and behaviors.  In my experience, the DiSC has been useful for helping teams identify attributes of the team members.  It becomes more powerful when used with the SDI to help the team members understand what to do when those attributes, or behaviors get in the way.

The Thomas Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument is great for helping you think through critical situations where conflict might exist, and selecting a behavior or strategy that may be appropriate.

And, finally, the Myers Briggs instrument is always a great tool for improving your self-knowledge.

Each of these tools should be done with the assistance of a coach. (See the previous blog entry Every Leader Needs A Coach)  To gain the full understanding of what the tools have to say, having a few hours with a qualified coach will be most valuable.

Changing Minds - The Importance of Character

Whether you are a leader of a nation, corporation, organization, club or other collection of people, one of your first tasks is to get people working in the same direction.  In prior posts we have talked about the importance of vision in bringing people together behind one cause.  But we have not talked about what to do when you have a vision that is not necessarily shared by others in the group.  The problem is not that they don't understand the vision.  They understand perfectly.  However, they disagree with the goal, methods, do not trust that the desired outcome is appropriate, or just generally think the idea is wrongheaded.

What do you do to change the minds of the people you wish to lead into the future?

In his book Changing Minds, Howard Gardner takes on the challenge of describing this process of bringing your message to your audience, and of successfully changing how people think and feel about the goals you have set before them.  Although there are many factors to consider, in this blog entry I want to focus on just one that I believe to be so powerful that if it is not properly considered and respected it will knock the blocks out from under everything you are trying to accomplish.

Skills, Knowledge, And Talent

Please note that there are several great comments posted at the end of this blog. Be sure to click on the "comment" link at the bottom of this entry to see the comments. And, thank you to all who have shared their views.

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We often read or hear about leaders who are described as skillful, knowledgeable, or talented. But, what does it mean to be skillful, knowledgeable, or talented? And, can a person who wants to be a successful leader become skillful, improve their knowledge base, or expand their leadership talent?

Part of the answer lies in the definition of skills, knowledge and talents. Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman examine the difference between skills, knowledge and talents in their book First Break All The Rules.

According to Buckingham skills are the "how-to's of a role" (p. 83). Skills can be transferred from one person to another. A person can learn a how to hold a golf club, build a house, write a sentence, or do arithmetic. Skills are an important part of being successful at any endeavor. And, without skill any resulting action or effort will be clumsy and ineffective.

Knowledge is "what you are aware of" . There are basically two types of knowledge: "...factual knowledge - things you know, and experiential knowledge - understandings you have picked up along the way." (p. 83)

Factual knowledge would be the rules of mathematics, accounting, scientific principles, or other similar fact-based information. Like skills, fact-based knowledge can be learned from others and/or gained through some form of education. (p. 83)

Experiential knowledge is harder to teach. It is less tangible, more related to patterns and connections. To gain experiential knowledge you must take time to stop, reflect on past experiences, and find meaning. Experiential knowledge may be different for each person because each will experience a different pattern of life. (p. 83-84)

Talent is a totally different phenomenon. Talent is the pattern of thinking and feeling that comes from the very core of the individual. Some people care deeply about precision and accuracy, discipline, and responsibility. Others have a drive to compete, be competent, strive to achieve a mission, or dedicate themselves to a certain belief. And, others may feel strong empathy, value interpersonal relations, dedicate themselves to the success of a team, or exhibit great courage in overcoming resistance. (p. 84-85) Buckingham breaks talents into three categories: striving talents, thinking talents, and relating talents.

• Striving talents explain the why of a person. They help you understand why a particular person cares deeply, and why they try a little harder than others in certain circumstances.
• Thinking talents explain the how of a person. They explain how a person analyzes situations, how decisions are reached, whether thinking is linear or intuitive process, or is the person systematic or creative.
• Relating talents explain the who of a person. They explain the relationships the person is likely to build, in whom will the person trust, the way the person will relate to strangers, and expose deep feelings about the way the person will manage interpersonal relationships. (p. 85)
  

Buckingham says that talents cannot be taught. If a person does not have a particular talent, there is very little a person can do to inject it into themselves or others. Talents are difficult (if not impossible) to transfer from one person to another.

If Buckingham is right, this creates an interesting situation for us in our role as leaders. It becomes essential to understand ourselves deeply; a process that takes dedicated self-examination.

Knowing our own skills, knowledge, and talents is the start. We can then develop ourselves through purposeful learning, receiving coaching, and reflection (making sense of our experiences). We can also make use of this self-knowledge to help us identify people who bring skills, knowledge, and talents to the organization or team that are complimentary to our own.

This self-development takes courage and the ability to admit that we may not have every attribute necessary to create success (or as Dr. Peter Koestenbaum would say, "Greatness").

Relying on others is easier for people who already have a strong relationship awareness skills, or what Buckingham calls "relating talents". (P. 252) It may be harder for people who tend to be autonomous thinkers. But, regardless of your personal talents, being able to bring the right people together at the right time is essential to the success of any endeavor.

If you are interested in doing some meaningful self-reflection, nothing beats having a great coach to guide you along the path. As one of my colleagues (and one of my unofficial coaches) Ray Patchett pointed out to me one day "Even Michael Jordan has a coach." No matter where you are in your career, the corporate hierarchy, or how good you think you are, there is no substitute for having someone who can help you take a realistic look at yourself.

In his article "Teaching Smart People How to Learn" (Harvard Business Review, May , 1991), Chris Argyris points out that professionals often find learning about themselves most difficult. Self-examination and questioning our own behavior is extremely difficult, particularly for those who have achieved some professional status. Having someone who can help you through the discovery process, who cares about your success, opens pathways to greatness that many never discover.

The more you understand about yourself the more you are going to be able to understand others. Also, the better you understand your own skills, knowledge, and talents, the better you can identify where to improve yourself, and when to bring others close to you to help fill in gaps.

Motivation

Traditional thinkers will tell you that “What gets rewarded gets done.” However, Kouzes and Posner, authors of The Leadership Challenge, suggest that this well worn statement is a little off. In their minds it should read “What is rewarding gets done.” (p. 40 The Leadership Challenge). This thought goes to the heart of what drives a successful organization – motivated people doing meaningful, rewarding work.

Peter Koestenbaum has said that “The most powerful sources of motivation are not money or fear of punishment, but rather pride, honor, self-respect, self-development, and a sense of accomplishment. …(U)ltimately, only you can motivate yourself.“ (p. 160-161 - Leadership The Inner Side of Greatness, 2002)

If it is true that motivation comes from the inside, that you are responsible for your own motivation, and ultimately the quality of your life, then the real question is: What motivates you? And, why have you chosen to do the job you are now doing?

In his book, Crossing the Unknown Sea – Work as a Pilgrimage of Identity, David Whyte wonders at how we can “…spend a third of our lives preparing ourselves for our work, and find ourselves forgetting the original inspiration behind all that preparation the moment we take a seat at our new desk.” (p. 164) (See a previous post on this blog “Applying the Diamond to Life” for an additional reference to this work.) Our own motivation brought us to this point, but somehow, once settled behind Whyte's proverbial desk, we allow our motivation to wane and we attempt to substitute the motivation and goals of others for our own.

But true motivation comes from the inside when we are doing what we consider to be “good work”. Whyte says that

“The stakes in good work are necessarily high. Our competence may be at stake in ordinary, unthinking work, but in good work that is a heartfelt expression of ourselves, we know, in the end, we are our gift to others and the world. Failure in truly creative work is not some mechanical breakdown but the prospect of a failure in our very essence, a kind of living death. Little wonder we often choose the less vulnerable, more familiar approach that places work mostly in terms of provision. If I can reduce my image of work to just a job I have to do, then I keep myself safely away from the losses to be endured in putting my heart’s desire at stake. (Crossing the Unknown Sea, p. 13)

By choosing ordinary, unthinking work we may find ourselves in a career path that provides no motivation beyond safety and low risk. These may initially be strong motivators, but in the long run, a safe and risk-free existence may not prove to be fulfilling. Finding work that provides a "heartfelt expression of ourselves" may mean stepping out of the safe and cool shade of uninspiring work into the light and heat of work that provides meaning and a vehicle for us to share our gifts with those we serve.

These authors tell us to shift from believing that others are responsible for our energy, happiness, and motivation to recognizing that we are in control of our own destiny. Understanding this is a key to gaining control of your life and ultimate happiness.

So, the questions become - What motivates you? Are you doing "good work"? Or, are you waiting for others to come along and light your motivational fire?

Change

In every organization (and at some point, in every life) there is a cry for change; people within the organization will have an overwhelming feeling that systems, structures, cultures, missions, purpose, or products must change to remain relevant in the world today. And, as this cry for change goes up, these same organizations will find that there an undeniable resistance to change within the organization that will confound the process.

Where does this resistance to change come from? And, why do we experience this polarity within the organizations we serve, and even within ourselves?

Richard Beckhard and Ruben Harris, in their book Organizational Transitions (now out of print), have boiled this phenomenon down, and created a little formula that helps us understand resistance to change:

Here is how this formula works:

• LD - This is the level of dissatisfaction with the status quo. If you are very dissatisfied with how things are right now, you are motivated to change. However, if dissatisfaction is low, or even Zero, change will not be possible.
• DC - This is the desirability of the proposed change or end state. If the end state is very desirable, then change is possible, however if a person cannot see the value in the new state of affairs, or the end state is undesirable, change will not be possible.
• PV - This represents the ability of the person who is considering the change to hold the vision that change is possible. If the task of undertaking the change is possible, even if it is difficult, then change can occur. But if the task seems impossible, or out of the reach of the people who are involved in the change effort, change will not happen.
• Xc - This part of the formula represents the cost of change. This cost can be in dollars, personal energy, self respect, any form that is of value to the organization or person involved in the change.

When we take the level of dissatisfaction times the desirability of the end state, times the vision of whether the task is possible or not, we get some sense of the importance of the change to the organization or person. These factors must be greater than (must out weigh) the perceived cost of the change before any change effort can successfully move forward.

Trying to apply real numbers to these variables is difficult at best. You will not be able to simply apply the formula and come up with an answer that tells you whether or not change can occur.

However, what you can do is evaluate each of the three factors on the left side of the equation. If you are experiencing resistance to change it is likely that the resistance is related to one of these three factors. Also, if any one of these factors is Zero - change is seen as a having no value - then the driving forces that would bring about change will always be less than the perceived cost of change.

If you can find a copy of Beckhard's book, look at page 98 for a description of this concept. (When I last checked, you could get a used copy of this book for $0.40 at Amazon.com.)

Peter Block - Servant-Leadership

Peter Block is an author, lecturer, and organizational consultant who has some very intriguing thoughts about service. Below you will find excerpts from the keynote address Peter gave to the 2005 International Servant-Leadership Conference in Indianapolis Indiana. Links to the full address, and the Greenleaf Center for Servant-Leadership are included in the text below. (Visit http://www.peterblock.com/ for more on Peter Block and his work)

Note:  I realize that some of the links on this post are broken.  At this time I do not have links to the text for the full address given by Peter Block.  If you would like more information, I am sure Peter would be happy to share his thoughts with you directly.  You can reach him through his web page http://www.peterblock.com/ .


Excerpts from the Keynote address, 2005 International Servant-Leadership Conference, Indianapolis, Indiana Published in The International Journal of Servant-Leadership, Volume 2, Number 1, 2006, by Larry Spears and Shann Ferch (Gonzaga University in collaboration with The Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership).  Unfortunately this information is no longer available on line.  
More information on Servant-Leadership can be found at http://www.greenleaf.org/

Servant Leadership: Creating an Alternative Future

Change the conversation, change your thinking, change your life.

…[M]aybe the audience creates the performance. Maybe the listening creates the speaking. Maybe citizens create leaders, maybe employees create bosses, maybe students create teachers and children create parents. Maybe the purpose of problem solving is to build relationships.

The only way the future gets created … is through invitation.

I’d rather have two people in the room who chose to be there than a thousand who were sent.

…[T]he idea of invitation is very powerful. What constitutes a powerful invitation? One that says, “Please come, and if you come here’s what’s required of you.” Most invitations are too soft, there are elements of begging: “Please come, it’s going to be great, nothing much will be required of you, it’s not going to take long, we’ll be fast, it’ll be organized, Robert’s Rules of Order, there’ll be food, there’ll be drink, the seats will be comfortable, and if you can come late, come at all, leave early, whatever, please come. God bless you.” A powerful invitation is one that says, “We want you to come! Now if you choose to come, here’s what will be demanded of you. You’ll have to show up. You’ll have to engage with your peers in powerful conversations. You’ll have to leave your interests at the door. We didn’t come together to negotiate; the future’s not created through negotiation, it’s created through imagination. It’s created from a dream… [A] possibility creates an alternative future. We’re not coming to negotiate. Leave your interests at home. You’re coming to engage in the primary actions between you and other citizens, you and other people who came. If you’re willing to live by these requirements, please come.”

To me servant-leadership… is a leadership that confronts people with their freedom.

… [T]he act of love is to confront people with their freedom, is to assemble, lead, in a way that says the choice resides in all of us. What greater gift can you give somebody than the experience of their own power, the experience that they have the capacity to create the world?

The skill of servanthood to me is to get good at questions that no matter how you answer them, you’re guilty. No matter how you answer this question you’re on the hook for being a creator of the future. You’re on the hook for being accountable. You create questions so people will choose accountability. We can’t hold each other accountable. We think we can legislate accountability. We can do performance management, we can have rules of the road that we’re (going to) enforce, but people talk about empowerment when all they really want to talk about are boundaries and limits, what will happen to me; we talk about consequences, there’ve got to be consequences; all of these are forms of patriarchy and they have no power. They have no power to create an alternative future. They have no power in the world. The question is, “How do I engage people so they choose to be accountable?” Well, questions do that. There are certain questions that if you start to answer them, you’re in trouble. No matter what you answer, you are responsible for creating an alternative future. The task of servant-leadership, in my mind, is, “Change the conversation, change the future.”

…[T]he questions have to be ones that have embedded in them the notion that choice resides in the world. It doesn’t reside in leaders; it doesn’t reside in the cause. It’s not in the performer, in the parent, in the teacher; cause resides in people’s connectedness to each other, in individuals.

Most of our organizations and communities are parent-child, boss-subordinate, mayor-citizen conversations — we think that matters. We think the boss-subordinate relationship matters, but I don’t think it does.

We think bosses are responsible for the emotional well being of their subordinates. If they have a depressed, low-morale team, it’s their fault! ...Maybe people are responsible for their own emotional well-being. What would it be like to be in a world where individuals were responsible for their own emotional well being, and we didn’t pretend that the boss was cause and subordinate was effect?

Here are some thoughts about conversations that have the power to create an alternative future. One’s the conversation of possibility. What’s the possibility I came here to live into or to create?

There’s a conversation of ownership. Take whatever you’re complaining about and say, “What have I helped do to create that situation?” Beautiful question. “What’s my contribution to the problem? What have I helped do?” It means I’m an owner. Whatever I complain about, let me turn that question and say, “How have I created that thing?” It’s a conversation of ownership.

There’s a conversation of commitment. Commitment means, what’s the promise I’m willing to make with no expectation of return? That’s a commitment. …“What’s the promise you’re willing to make with no expectation of return?” … Now who do I make the promise to? To peers. If you’re in a leadership spot and you want to create choice, engagement among people working for you, then you say let them make promises to each other. Let them sit in witness of those promises, peers, and say, “Okay, is that enough?” and that shifts the focus from boss-to-subordinate to peer-to-peer.

[W]hy not ask each individual, “What are you here to create? What’s the vision you have?” Now people get nervous: “Suppose we don’t have agreeable, compatible visions,” but I’ve never heard a vision that wasn’t embraceable. I’ve never heard an individual say, “The possibility I’m living into is to walk over people. To succeed at the cost of others.”

“Well, suppose my only purpose in leading would be to bring the gifts of the margin into the center. I just love that thought. I have no idea what it means, but I love the thought. And suppose when we come together we agree for the next six months we’re only going to talk about gifts. And we do it in the moment. We do it with each other and say, “You know, here’s the gift I’ve gotten from you in the last ten minutes.” And you teach people to breathe that in. Most people, when they’re given love or given a statement of gifts, exhale. And they begin a story. And so that’s the thought. And then you devise ways of doing that. So the gift conversation has a lot of power to it.

…[H]elp is just a subtle form of control. People want to give advice to each other. They want to tell you what they did when they were at your stage of life. They have an answer for you, and it’s called generosity; for me it’s mostly a conversation stopper. Whenever you engage people in powerful questions you have to set them up very carefully and tell them, do not help each other. Do not give advice. Do not mask your advice in questions: “Have you thought of this, have you thought of that?” Do not tell them what you did at this stage.

I want you to substitute curiosity for help. Every time you have the instinct to be useful, helpful, to have an answer, to give advice... Ask the other person, “Why does that matter to you? What’s the meaning that that has to you? What’s at stake for you?” In a deeper sense you say, “I came here to serve you by valuing meaning over speed. Meaning over efficiency. Meaning over problem solving.” People say, “I’m a problem solver.” I know you are, but it’s only a part of who you are. You have to inoculate people against the search for the quick answer, by asking them: “What does this mean? Why does it matter to you?”

Applying the Diamond to Life

You don't have to wait until you are facing a huge, overwhelming philosophic problem to begin applying the Diamond's principles. There are many opportunities in life where a few minutes of contemplation on how your current situation can be viewed within the Diamond may change your direction forever.

Author David Whyte illustrates this point in his book Crossing the Unknown Sea - Work as a Pilgrimage of Identity:

"We can spend a third of our lives preparing ourselves for our work, and find ourselves forgetting the original inspiration behind all that preparation the moment we take a seat at our new desk." ( p 164).

A vision of our future, of how we want to make a difference in the world (or at least our small part of the world) drives us toward a career, school, a job search, and finally our choice that places us firmly within the working world. Our vision of the future pokes, pulls, and prods us until we settle ourselves on a path.

However, it is courage that will keep us on the path that eventually leads to making our vision become a reality. Whyte goes on to explain that it is courage that gives a person "...the ability to remain unutterably themselves in the midst of conforming pressures." The pressure from our friends to conform, to become part of the system, and to not rock the boat, to think and act in the accepted way, can be an irresistible force unless we have a clear vision, and our courage is firmly in place.

On this most personal and private level the time a person devotes to getting clear on his or her particular vision of the future and how that vision (and the process of moving toward that vision) effects both the person and those who are closest to him or her is time well spent. In addition, a person must be ready to call upon his or her courage to keep their feet on the path.

Your first task, upon taking your seat at your new desk, is to firmly plant your vision before you and keep your feet pointed toward your chosen future.