- Identify in your own mind the form of the resistance (see the description of the types of resistance in the previous blog entry.)
- Name the resistance – use neutral language to describe the form that the resistance is taking.
- Be quiet – let the person respond to your statement about the resistance. Don’t keep talking. Live with the silence and tension.
Being aware of these concepts may help you identify the form of resistance that you are encountering. For example, someone who is constantly asking for more and more detail may be expressing a lack of confidence, or their fear. Your statement to this person might be "Your need for lots of detail tells me that you are uncomfortable with this project (or change effort). Tell me what is making you uncomfortable." Or more directly, "What are your fears?"
(See the April 1999 FastCompany Magazine for an article by Peter Senge on this subject.)